Classic

Was just reading over on HF and I just have to post this. This is by a poster name "Skraut" and is just too good not to share here:

Used Blue Jacket Blowout

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Hurry, Hurry, Hurry step right up folks to Crazy Scotty's used Blue Jacket emporium. Thats right Just look at these Deals we have for you!

Get your very own HHOF'er in the one, the only, Sergei Fedorov. Be amazed as the Sergei you know and love has not played hockey since the lockout. Instead you get an honest to goodness 3rd liner. He'll flash brilliance at you once a month though just so you remember how good he was but only when your team is already down 4 goals.

Need Veteran Leadership? Then Adam Foote is your man. He may have lost a step since his Avs days, but can still log big minutes in big situations. His Kung-Fu Grip is broken, but the "Into his own goal" Puck deflector works better than ever.

Need Selke? Why then Mike Peca might be just the player you are looking for. Be careful looking however Mike's warrantee has long expired, you break him, you buy him.

Have a pampered Czech who needs a little friend to make him happy? Then David Vyborny is the player you need. We're not quite sure why this year's model is defective in the point scoring department, but he does come with his own lifetime supply of wooden sticks.

Need somebody to go on a point scoring streak, then disappear off the face of the Earth? Nobody does it better that Kris Beech. Be amazed as Kris reminds everyone why he was a first round pick, and then just as suddenly makes everyone forget he exists. Houdinni himself is jealous of Beech's disappearing skills.

Need a goon with a gimmick, but all the ones with good facial hair are gone? How about one with 2 girls names. That's right you too can have Jody Shelley watching games from your pressbox.

Is your team not offsides enough? Jason Chimera can rectify that problem, and can do it quickly. Watch Jason blaze through the neutral zone and beat the puck carrier to the blue-line over and over again. And when he does make it safely into the offensive zone, he has this one fake kick move. It beat Turco once 2 years ago, but you get to watch Jason try it over and over on every goalie in the league.

Remember the last 2 cups have been won by the team with the most former Blue Jackets on their roster. Stock up today. Operators are standing by. Act now and we'll throw in the one, the only Alexandre Picard. (No not the Alexandre Picard that plays for the Philadelphia, the other, one and only Alexandre Picard.) He's due to score another point in the NHL in only 40 more games, you know you want it to be with yours.

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Well done Skraut! That was just what I needed to read after such a horrible loss last night.

Full post with responses can be found here.

-LTL